BIG BROTHER DOESN'T WANT YOU
(but maybe you can fool him)

by BEN SATTERFIELD

The items following are taken from a psychological evaluation test administered by large companies across the country. The test consists of more than 600 TRUE/FALSE statements that make up the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI), a questionnaire-type instrument designed to uncover the weaknesses of potential employees.
If you are looking for work and are asked to complete the MMPI, be careful. The test is intrusive* and tricky, but you can "pass" if you stay alert to what the employer is looking for and what the test is supposed to reveal.
To help put one over on any Big Brother type organization that uses this questionnaire as a screening device, study the following sample items and the suggested responses. In taking the test, keep in mind that the goal is not to reveal your personality, but to "pass" by creating a favorable image. It works for politicians.
*A non-Orwellian brought suit against one chain for using this test, which, according to the plaintiff, is an unconstitutional and unreasonable intrusion into his private life (Sibi Soroka vs. Target Stores).