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Müüüm and the Megaphones
by Öyvind Fahlström

Müüüm had buried himself. In the woods there were three megaphones. Each night they would throw up. The people collected the jellyvomit each morning and fed it mixed with nutshells to the cows.

One morning Müüüm was mistaken for the vomit. He had his body sharpedged by the nutshells and from this time on he could never move soundlessly. He killed those who had maltreated him.

He went home and made a big dough that he filled with scorpions. When it was dark he went out into the woods with the dough on his back. With a knife he shaved the spikes off the megaphones' backs (the funnel began where the torso ends so that they had no legs and no head, and the mouth and nose and ears and rectum and bladder and vagina would all come to the hole where the funnel began).

Müüüm divides the dough in three dogsized balls. He goes through one of the funnels rolling the ball in front of him. The megaphone is sleeping. His scraping against the tin cannot wake her. The ball fits perfectly in her opening.

When he has reached nearly all the way through the other megaphone's funnel, the megaphone inhales deeply and Müüüm is sucked into the opening. Confused he runs back and forth in front of the six channelopenings. It is the breathing channel he is after. But they all look the same. He enters one at random.

But sooner than he knows he is standing in front of six more, smaller channelopenings. Beyond himself out of control repeats the same.

Same story. Each time with smaller channels.

Müüüm struggles through one channel related to what he no longer knows. When something dark comes crawling towards him. In a wink he is blown back through all the channels' channels' channels and is once more standing inside the big opening.

He wants to run into one of the other channels, but everywhere the secretive mass rolls forth. Compressed from all sides he slides backwards down the funnel.

But the first megaphone is now awake and has joined this funnel so that they form one. Before Müüüm has a chance to hesitate two thrombi of collected secretions are shot from each side closing him in. Then the megaphones blow on it all, so that it freezes. Müüüm stands in between the two balls of dough that are pressed together as one around him. He feels the scorpions wandering over him.

The holy cows spat Müüüm out. The people carried him back to the megaphones. These tied him to a long string and had him work as sanitationslave in the channels.

Since then it can widely be heard how the megaphones howl with delight while he scrubs their insides. These days Müüüm never mistakes the channels.

But one day a megaphone baby is born. In its feeble mind it eats Müüüm and when it throws him out he is already dead.

copyright sharon avery-fahlström 1996

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